Thursday, March 11, 2010


As a person with chronic illnesses, I am feel very vulnerable about sharing what's really going on with me when someone asks, "How are you?"  There are few people I actually open up to about my health challenges.  Why?  Oh, there's a good reason alright!

People don't seem to know how to respond to a person who has health issues that are continual.  I think they want to hear you say, "I'm all better!" then they can stop feeling obligated to ask.  In fact, many people in my close circle, even family, don't ever ask how I am.

And if folks do find out, lots of times they respond by telling me all about how they have the same thing and it's a lot worse for them OR they tell me, well it could be worse.  I KNOW IT COULD BE WORSE, PEOPLE, THINGS CAN ALWAYS BE WORSE!  But, that doesn't mean I'm not going through anything worth caring about.  I usually just chalk it up to people not knowing how to genuinely show their compassion for others.  I'm used to it.

What do I really want to hear?  I think all most "sick" people want and need to hear is, "I'm sorry you're hurting.  What can I do to help you?  If you want to talk, I'm here for you."  It's as simple as that!

Hope you're finding things to grit your teeth chuckle about, too!

Laughing, Lollie Gagger


  1. I am not dealing with illness (anymore). But my 12 yr. old son, Andrew, went to Heaven 13 weeks ago after a dx of brain cancer the last week of August '09. It went very fast. But I do understand about how awkward it is to be asked, "How are you doing?"

  2. I know exactly what you mean. I have fibromyalgia,chronic fatigue, and a slew of other conditions. I get sick of people saying, 'but you LOOK fine' as though I'm either faking it, or making my illness out to be more than it is. They think that I'll 'be fine in a few days' if I follow their advice. Hello! Chronic means FOREVER people! Clue in,and stop making me feel worse!